Adventures of JAM
by mayuzumichihiro
Summary: The everyday adventures that all couples have
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Night World.**

**This will just be a series of one-shots where I basically torture Morgead. A lot of fun to come up with, and a lot of fun to write. I'll be dedicating all the stories to my wonderful and weird best friends, who will probably have come up with 90% of all of these. Ta very mooch (epic fail at typing a Suffolk accent :P) for having the dodgy imagination you have, EG-izzle xxx**

**The Day Morgead Lost His Trousers**

It may surprise some people to know that Morgead enjoyed fishing.

No, really. Sometimes, he liked to go to the middle of a massive lake and get away from the difficulties of everyday life. By this, of course, he meant his lovely (cough cough) soulmate who thought it within her power to, as she put it, 'knock some sense into his thick head'.

It wasn't as if anything _too _bad had happened. It was the shed's fault, really, for being so easy to explode. Not to mention the splinters that had erupted spectacularly everywhere had wounded him. He still had the scars.

So that was why he'd escaped from her for a while. Away from her murderous glares. He could only deal with so much. Although, he did wish that he'd caught something. It wouldn't be as embarrassing when he finally went back. He'd been there for over three hours and hadn't had one bite.

Maybe he should just say that he went for a short road trip instead, he thought to himself as he stood up, automatically hoisting up his trousers. The stupid dobermann next door had eaten all his belts, and he was way too scared – no, not scared, of course! Respectful – of Jez to use hers.

He decided that he would have to stop by the shop on the way home to buy a new belt. And he wouldn't leave this one outside to the mercy of that damn dobermann.

He started moving to the port side of the boat to put his fishing rod in the fishing-rod-holder (or at least, that was what he called it. He had no idea what its real name was), but then, suddenly there was an almighty yank from the other side of the rod, just as it was secured in the 'holder.

And the boat started moving.

Oh, crap, he thought to himself as it started gaining speed. He held onto the side of the boat with his free hand – the other was holding up his trousers – and tried to find the source of the problem.

He found it pretty quickly.

The bait had somehow attached itself to a nearby speedboat, and for some reason it was dragging his own tiny rowing boat along the lake. And it was gaining speed.

He tried to get to the fishing rod to cut the string with his teeth or something but couldn't get to it only using one hand. It was rocking way too much for even him to balance on it successfully.

Goddess, this was going to be embarrassing.

He took his hand away from his trousers to reach the fishing rod, and they immediately fell down to his ankles.

Damn his and the stupid 'get fit, loose weight' class that Jez had dared him to do. None of his clothes fit anymore, and they couldn't afford a whole new wardrobe for him. He'd suggested stealing some clothes, but Jez had argued vehemently against that idea.

Stupid human.

The thread wasn't breaking, even when he bit it. That showed him. He should never have gotten the extra-strong thread.

The rocking increased as the boat sped up again, and Morgead tried to straighten up. He realised immediately that it was a terrible idea. One that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

He'd worn an old pair of underwear, which was now a couple of sizes too big for him. He felt the material start too slip, but was so focussed on not falling over that he didn't grab at them as they slid down his legs to meet his trousers.

Oh. Shit.

At least his shirt was long enough to mostly cover up the important parts. He leant down to try and quickly pull something back up. Anything. But there was another jerk, and he almost fell out of the boat. After that, things got even more impossibly wrong.

There were several birds of prey flying around, and for some reason one decided to target Morgead. This time he swore out loud, and very loud it was too.

It grabbed hold of his shirt with its long claws and somehow managed to rip off the entire thing and fly off with it. He reacted like, well, a human. He took the closest thing to him and threw it at the bird. It missed, and Morgead suddenly realised what he'd chucked. His phone.

Ah, crap.

He stood up and the boat jerked vigorously, coming completely out of the water for a second, and hit a massive rock when it landed back in.

Being the cheap boat it was, it broke and Morgead fell out onto the lake, leaving his underwear and trousers with the quickly disappearing remainders of his boat.

Oh crap. His fishing rod was gone!

Well, at least the water was covering him. He swam to the shallows, noticing that he was only a kilometre away from where him and Jez were staying.

He was going to have to contact her. He grimaced in embarrassment.

'_Jez, can you come, please? And... bring some clothes.'_

**Tell me what you thought. Thanks for reading! **

**~Jynxiii xxxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**I've got my drama exam coming up, and guess what my group are performing. Equus. Yeah, great play for both a Christian and a horse-lover to do! And my name is Martin Dysart. MARTIN. We're calling him Martina Dysart, but one of the boys in my group is autistic and he keeps on switching from calling me 'sir' to 'ma'am'. To top it all off, we're performing to family and friends tonight, and I'm losing my voice. How I love my life…**

**No, it's actually pretty cool. Can't keep a straight face through it, but oh well… As one of my best friends said in her yearbook comment 'A day without laughter is a day wasted'. Mine is 'I've got a jar of dirt', but I don't think I can use it in this circumstance with the same effect.**

**I don't own Night World.**

**One more important thing – No fish were harmed in the creating of this chapter. Though Edward and Jasper did exist, and Charlie still does exist.**

**The Day Morgead Made a Contraption**

"Aha!" Morgead exclaimed as he looked proudly at his handiwork.

3 months of non-stop work, and it was finally finished. The contraption had lots of scary-looking tubes and pipes; some of which were puffing out multi-coloured smoke, ranging from bright purple to sickly yellow. Other objects, such as taps, fences, a microwave, a book (Jez's), a bedside table (also Jez's) and the goldfish bowl with three goldfish in it (definitely Jez's). It took up most of the shed, and Morgead had to edge round carefully in order to not knock it over.

He brushed is hands on his jeans, a wide grin spreading across his face. It looked frickin' awesome! He couldn't wait to show it to Val. Better hide it from Jez, though. Thank goodness she never came into the shed.

"Our little secret," he said to the contraption, pointing at it and narrowing his eyes. He stayed still for a second before clapping his palm to his forehead. "Stop talking to inanimate objects. You know what the psychiatrist said."

He slipped out of the door and closed it carefully. Next time Jez was out, he would test it.

Getting into the house at exactly the right time (Jez was coming through the front door), he leant against the wall and tried to look innocent.

"Morgead, have you seen my–" She opened the door and her eyes widened. "What have you done to yourself?"

"Huh?"

Jez rolled her eyes. "Look in the mirror."

Morgead frowned and did as she ordered, grimacing when he saw that his forehead was covered in black oil. He looked down at his hands. Yep, oil. Maybe he'd squirted a little too much on.

"What have you been doing?" Jez asked, coming up next to him.

"Umm… I'm working on my motorbike." He looked at Jez innocently.

"Okay…" she looked around the room. Have you seen the book I was reading?" She froze. "Morgead, where's the microwave?"

"Umm…"

"Oh, never mind. Just make sure it's back in it's place when I'm back."

"You're going out again?"

"Yes. Just came back to get a book for Hannah. She wanted to borrow it…" She bit her lip, "Okay, I'm going to see if it's upstairs.

"Uh-huh," Morgead said. Great, he could test out the contraption today! As she went up the stairs, Morgead rushed to the shoe cupboard to get a pair of his workshoes that needed polishing.

"Morgead, have you seen my bedside table?" Jez called down the stairs.

Oh, crap.

"Your bedside table?" he asked innocently.

"It's not here." There was a pause. "Where are Edward, Jasper and Charlie?"

"Who?"

"The fish!"

"We have fish?"

"Well, we did. You wanted to name them the Terminator, Obi Wan Kanobi and Fluffy."

"I did?"

She reached the top of the stairs. "Why are you acting so suspicious?"

"I am?"

She frowned. Morgead stayed still, keeping his eyes wide and as innocent as possible.

"I thought you weren't working today."

"I'm not," he said, confused.

"Then why have you got your workshoes?"

"I'm cleaning them."

Jez blinked. "Oh. Okay. Well, don't let me interrupt. I'll be back in an hour." It sounded like a warning. She kissed him quickly before going out the door.

Morgead counted slowly to ten before taking off at a sprint towards to shed. Time to test out the shoe shining contraption. It would be amazing. Him and Jez would become billionaires and get a bigger mansion the Hannah and Thierry!

When he got back to the shed, the contraption was puffing white smoke. He wasn't sure what the meant, but it was probably because it was going perfectly.

"Okay, contraption," he told it. "Clean my shoes."

The contraption puffed in reply. Morgead inserted the left shoe into one of the pipes. He could hear it clunk its way down to the cardboard box as the wheel to the left of it started turning. It then proceeded to clank vigorously up the next pipe, two metres up to a wooden chair, before going around the U-turn to the microwave. The microwave pinged, before the shoe reappeared in the fish bowl. Edward, Jasper and Charlie jumped before swimming away from it in fright, and the shoe clonked its way to the red trousers, up the right leg to the waistband and finally sliding its way to the end of the run way, dinging a bell at the end of it.

And the shoe was practically shimmering with cleanliness.

"Yes!" Morgead exclaimed, punching the air. He put the other shoe in and watched as it clunked, clanked, pinged, clonked and dinged to the bell, as clean as its twin. "Jez is going to love you," he said to his contraption before patting one of the pipes proudly.

He decided to go back to the house and wait for her. He could almost taste the billions he would make from his contraption!

Morgead was almost to the back door when a strange creaking resounded from behind him. He frowned, turning towards the sound. It had come from inside the shed.

"Are you alright?" he called out, forgetting (for that instant only, mind you), that the contraption could not speak. He would add that on the next time he worked on it.

The contraption made a frighteningly loud sound like a train approaching, until a massive 'poof' reverberated from it. The shed then exploded.

No kidding. It exploded. Bits of the dressing table, wooden chair, pipes, and even (eww) goldfish went in every direction, including on Morgead himself. Those splinters were definitely going to leave some scars.

Well, the shed was definitely ruined. He wouldn't be a billionaire. And Jez was going to kill him.

Ah, crap.


End file.
